This post was inspired by Recognizing Readiness, the theme of the latest blog carnival organized by Barbara from the blog TherExtras.

How do I tell when Clara-Bear is ready for the next step towards a therapy goal or developmental milestone? As Special Agent Oso would say, I use three simple steps:

Step 1: Do my Mommy Homework.
Step 2: Focus on my girl's abilities.
Step 3: Try, try again.



Step 1: Do My Mommy Homework
The same part of my personality that makes me peek at the last chapter of a mystery novel also had me peeking ahead at Clara-Bear's early developmental milestones.  I was able to see where Baby Bear's written goals were leading and to understand how milestones build upon each other.

Understanding the big picture has given me the confidence to break down activities into smaller steps, to try innovative variations that suit Clara-Bear, and to sense when she is ready for her next step.  I still need and want guidance by our therapists, but I also have learned to trust my instincts.

Learning about strategies that work for others who do not have Down Syndrome but who face similar developmental obstacles is another part of my Mommy Homework.  When I read that children with Down Syndrome have learning styles and sensory impairments similar to children with Autism, my homework expanded to include ASD years before Clara-Bear was diagnosed.  Thinking beyond labels helps me feel more confident about my ability to judge Clara-Bear's readiness to progress.

Step 2: Focus on My Girl's Abilities
This goes back to Step 1.  Do not fall into the trap of relying solely upon therapists and doctors for all your information about your child.  Think of it this way - they have to pick apart what your child cannot do in order to create goals and treatment plans.  It makes sense, but it doesn't always leave a parent feeling positive about the future.

For the sake of my daughter and my heart, I made a conscious decision to plan our home activities around Clara-Bear's strengths.  It might seem indirect, but by focusing on her strengths we experience small successes more often then we would if we we waited for the one big success of correcting a weakness.  These baby steps don't just motivate us, they help Clara-Bear trust me when we're working on something challenging.

Example:  When Clara-Bear was 4 1/2 she had poor trunk control, weak hands with hypermobile joints, poor short term working memory, and used to resist wearing her glasses despite only being able to clearly see about 8 inches without them.  Hand over hand was always needed, and she was not jazzed about arts and crafts.  Clara-Bear is really good at visual scanning, knew her shapes, and could match like objects.

We did a birthday cake craft and I drew rectangles where the candles we cut out were to go. Instead of guiding her hands, I asked her to match the candle we cut out to the rectangle.  Ta-da! Her accuracy and interest literally blossomed in front of my eyes.

I moved on to using a laser pointer to show her where items were to be glued or where to color and we are all impressed by how independently she can function when she understands the activity. A year later, the laser pointer is rarely needed and Clara-Bear can follow verbal prompts or a pointing finger.


Step 3: Try, Try Again
I would never do something that was obviously out of my baby's league. But I have learned a few things about introducing her to the next step before others thought she was ready. I've learned that sometimes they're right and that sometimes they're wrong.

Sometimes the wrongs have been huge, like the SLP who wanted to limit the picture symbol choices on her Dynavox screen to 4.  I was doing 6 to 10 choices, and a new SLP who was more familiar with AAC immediately bumped her up to 20 choices.  Within a month, Clara-Bear was handling 30 to 40 choices.  Who knows how long it would have taken the first SLP to let my clever girl communicate to the best of her ability?


If I'm wrong, then we wait and try again in a few weeks or even a few months. While we take a break I try to suss out sensory and behavioral issues that get confused with physical abilities and vice versa.  Many times untangling the confusion created by the combination of her ASD and physical limitations has led to almost miraculous success.  Sometimes we nibble casually at the skills and knowledge she needs to do something until the day it clicks.

What to Do When Your Child isn't Ready
Never give up on a toy or activity because your child can't or won't do it the first time. Slow it down or take a break.  Try to figure out why your child can't do it and work on those barriers instead of the desired goal.  Or use your knowledge of your child's strengths to develop a new approach to the same goal.  Flying might be quicker than walking, but does it really matter how you get there as long as you have fun on your trip and enjoy your destination?

If the answer is "she really isn't ready," don't think of the experience as wasted time.  You never know how the exposure to something new is contributing to your child's progress.  Staying closely involved in your child's development will increase the bond between you and your Special Needs child.  Focusing on your child's abilities and using their strengths to build up weaknesses will increase your respect for your child and their own self respect.

You might enjoy these other Frugal and Fun Home Therapy Tips (all of which are intended to get you thinking about what might work for your child, but not meant to replace guidance from trained therapists and teachers):
A Laser Pointer. Who Knew?
Check Your References
Don't Be So Goal Oriented